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Okay, now I donapos;t know what to do.

Dr. Chandler said he canapos;t tell me what to do (of course), but he favors wait and see rather than surgery right now. The complete opposite of what Dr. Lesniak said. According to Dr. Chandler, surgery on this tumor is much riskier than had been my impression from Dr. Lesniak. The tumor is wrapped around the optic nerve and the carotid artery and so this surgery would carry a larger risk of blindness and/or stroke. Larger than Dr. Lesniak seemed to think. Scary

Dr. Chandler said that since, according to my purely subjective and not very carefuly observed recollection, my vision loss seems not to have gotten worse over the past two years (Iapos;ve spent the past two years in fear and denial before finally going to get it checked out, so there is no objective corroborating data from a doctor), maybe the tumor is stable and not growing.

I dinapos;t know such a thing was possible. I thought tumors just grew and grew, even if they grow slowly. I didnapos;t think tumors ever just stopped growing on their own. But thatapos;s what Dr. Chandler said. He said basically not to mess with it if it isnapos;t getting worse.

So he advised another MRI and followup visit in 3 months, followed by MRIapos;s every 6 months thereafter. And for me to pay close attention in case the vision loss gets worse, which would then mean surgery in order to save the remaining eyesight in my right eye. But very risky surgery.

So Iapos;m not sure whatapos;s the best thing to do. I was terrified of surgery before, Iapos;m even more so now. I am perfectly happy to wait and monitor and not schedule any surgery just yet. And tentatively, thatapos;s what Iapos;ve decided to do.

But I wonder if I am just postponing the inevitable, and by doing so, endangering my remaining eyesight.

And I still donapos;t know what criteria to use to decide where to go for surgery, if (as I believe likely), I end up having to have it done anyway. I didnapos;t particularly like either of these guys. But thatapos;s not really a valid criticism, is it? Isnapos;t it a question of who has the most skill and the most experience with this particular type and location of tumor? Does it matter if they have any bedside manner or not? A neurosurgeon could be sweet and charming as all get-out, and not be skilled enough to save my brain.

I loved the atmosphere and the energy at Northwestern about a zillion times more than that at the U. Of C., but thatapos;s not really a valid criteria either, is it?

(Although Dr. Lesniak did specifically recommend Northwestern *rather than* his own hospital, the U. Of C. I thought that was kind of odd.)

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